ED0crE2E3
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Location: England
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 Posted: Wed 7:15, 27 Apr 2011 Post subject: The Truth About You |
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se questions plagued me, and I was resolved to detect the answers. As a practicing Marriage, Family, Therapist, my counseling bureau served as a "research lab." My subjects, the numerous distressed clients of all ages, attempted me many opportunities to collect invaluable data. I was attracted with the results.
Basically, this was my scientific approach. I asked the clients to near their eyes, and to visualize a number from 1 to ten, ten being high, that would rate their self-esteem. They often reported seeing numbers from one to six.
Then I recommended, "Imagine that the person who you have issues with is standing in front of you. Tell that person what you are upset about." After they expressed all their thoughts and emotions, I continued, "Now say, when you do that I decide that I am _____ and achieve the sentence."
To my wonder, 99% of the clients completed the expression with the retinue negative thoughts: "I'm deciding that I'm bad, unworthy, not good enough, unimportant, unlovable, silly, and hideous, or not okay."
These decisions, I discovered, are the basic causes of our cheap self-esteem. These insidious beliefs in our subconscious build a magnificent deal of grief in our lives. Even though in reality, FEAR is False Evidence Appearing Real, we trust these untruths and act accordingly.
For example, whether a woman is convinced that she is stupid, she is possible to demonstrate ineptness in her job. If a man feels he is bad, his behavior will be persistent with his belief.
It is interesting to note that even whereas two folk may feel they are bad, their behavior can be the accurate opposite. One may act very timid, when different exceedingly aggressive. The same basis, equitable assorted branches.
Where do these disruptive, debilitating beliefs get cracking? I discovered the response to that answer with the following process I developed shrieked, HART: Holistic and Rapid Transformation. Once a client disclosed their negative faith, I said, "Allow yourself to go behind to the time when you made that negative decision." Often, they would recall an incident when they were five-years-old or younger, or in basic school.
For sample, Karin, an unhappy and overweight thirty-six-year-old woman, recollected a period while she was three annuals age and her father left her mama. Karin was devastated, and she decided that she must be no agreeable enough, bad and unlovable.
Typical of a juvenile child, Karin took aggregate duty for her parents divorce. As a outcome, her negative beliefs deep in her unconscious affected her self-esteem. Consequently, adult Karin was unsuccessful in her relationships, career and in nourishing her ideal weight. Her guilt feelings and her debilitating negative thoughts sabotaged all her exertions. Karin was definitely not performing her latent.
Once I helped Karin heal her inner child, and fulfil the truth that she was good enough, lovable, and a good human not material what anyone said or did, she felt better. At the end of the conference, Karin rated her self-esteem higher than at the beginning.
In summary, the file led me apt conclude that we make determinations from our experiences. Negative experiences reason us to make negate decisions which lead us to negate behavior. Of lesson, the opposite namely likewise true.
Therefore, it is major as entire of us to experience many affirmative interactions so that we tin make assured decisions, feel good almost ourselves and be able to act in healthy, constructive ways.
The customers also taught me that we are distinctive yet our problems are not. Troubled adults and babies are all struggling with similar negative decisions which cause them their problems. The negative thoughts are favor roots of a tree, buried in the floor, buried in the unconscious. The branches of the tree represent what we can look, the omens.
Some examples of how people express their negative beliefs are: career and relationship problems, poor g
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